- Published on
Those with a personal commitment to excellence live life differently than most.
The best of the best, whether dentists, nurses, teachers, surgeons, lawyers, preachers, salesmen, musicians, soldiers or sailors, athletes, gardeners, artists, all do some things differently than most everybody else.
And they end up the best of the best.
And happier.
• They decide to live their dreams.
• They set goals and review them very frequently, at best, daily.
• One of their goals is CANI - Constant and Never-Ending Improvement
• They do course correction. If things aren’t working, they change their strategy a bit, and don’t assume it will never work. They don’t give up. Their goals await.
• They believe in possibility.
• They are actively grateful.
• They smile - a lot.
You can be one of the best of the best. Go for it!!
Love,
And they end up the best of the best.
And happier.
• They decide to live their dreams.
• They set goals and review them very frequently, at best, daily.
• One of their goals is CANI - Constant and Never-Ending Improvement
• They do course correction. If things aren’t working, they change their strategy a bit, and don’t assume it will never work. They don’t give up. Their goals await.
• They believe in possibility.
• They are actively grateful.
• They smile - a lot.
You can be one of the best of the best. Go for it!!
Love,
- Published on
Albert Schweitzer said, "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success."
Dr. Chris Baker's book, REAL, reveals successful strategies for raising healthy, sane and responsible children.
The best way for a parent to teach his child to share is for the child to see the parent sharing with others. (Wikimedia Commons photo)
A child learns courtesy and good manners when he or she sees their parents being courteous.
Dr John Rosemond's book, New Parent Power! is a great resource for parents who want to raise responsible children.
As parents, we all want our children to be successful. We strive to help our children become “successful” so they will be “happy.”
But - as Albert Schweitzer said, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.”
Scientists studying the psychology of happiness have discovered that:
• Happiness isn’t genetic.
• Happiness isn’t luck.
• Happiness isn’t dependent on our circumstances.
• Happiness is created by us.
• Happiness is created by simple disciplines practiced every day, over and over.
• And, unhappiness is created by errors in judgement repeated over and over.
Now we know it is our parenting behaviors that help train our children to be happy. And their happiness will lead to their successes.
So what are these things that we do that work to train our children to be happy?
1. Simple Daily Disciplines - Yourself!
Learn, practice and train yourself to practice simple disciplines every day, over and over. Let your children learn from you that you are grateful. Let them learn that you do kind things for others, not just for them. Let them learn that you eat well, exercise and stay fit. Let them learn most of all that these simple daily disciplines occur over and over.
A recent article from Harvard University, points out that “the result you wish to see in your child comes from the effort you put into yourself.” Your children will mimic and learn from you.
2. Show Encouragement and Compassion for others - all others.
Children have to see and hear their parents caring about and for others. From the time a toddler is just beginning to get the idea that we want them to “share”, they need to see their parents encouraging other children and other adults, as well as them.
Children need to see their parents being compassionate of others -
* holding a door for the next person,
* picking up trash as they walk (take a plastic bag to put over your hand),
* say thank you - and mean it,
* give genuine compliments to people you meet,
* praise others every chance you get,
* write handwritten thank you notes -
* focus on the person speaking to you - NEVER on your phone while they are talking,
* and teach your child to do so.
Give EVERYONE you meet the gift of your smile, ask about the other person’s family, or work, or children. Let your children see you care very much about the others.
3. Always, Always, Keep High Ethical Standards - did I say always?
Let your children see that you have good manners, graciousness, humility, and above all, honesty. Let them be able to trust that what you say is what you mean.
Counting, “I’m gonna count to three…” merely means that you don’t mean what you say until you get to three. Saying, “I promise you,” means that if you don’t say that, you may not mean it. Earn their respect and trust. Of course they will learn that we are all human, yet they will be so proud of an honest and trustworthy parent!
4. The Big and Real Picture is Inside
As things happen around you, and TO you, let the children see that the only things that matter are the things that happen IN you. In other words, help them learn that it is not what happens, but how you look at it, and how you take it.
Be the victor, not the victim. Let them see that when hard things happen, you work to accept and to use it as a lesson. Make every day a day of victory!
5. Allow Problems to Happen and Allow Your Child to Solve those Problems.
We never “wish” hard things on our children, of course not! But the reality is that life has lots of challenges, and since your child will encounter these many lessons, childhood practice coping is critical..
Doing pediatric dentistry and orthodontics has taught me how fortunate is the child with a parent who helps the child cope with the dental situation. This is especially true if it seems hard for the child.
I have seen over and over, the incredible result in how well a child copes when the parent is matter-of-fact and believes their child can handle it, and stays right beside the child to just “be there.”
The most successful appointments are those with parents who tell the child “You can do it. I’m here with you,” and then the parent goes on to talk with us, holding the child’s hand, but not over-focusing on the child. And guess what? The child believes the parent - the person they trust the most - that it’s all ok.
The child may cry. The child may worry. But the child will get through it ever so much better than if a parent is worrying and saying, “It won’t hurt - I promise!” (How does the parent know? “Hurt” is a very personal definition - don’t “promise” such things!)
Allow your child to solve the problems, and to learn to cope with the challenges!
What are some things parents of happy children (who become successful adults) DO NOT do?
- They do not rescue their child to prevent the “hard stuff.” They do not let their child “quit”.
- They do not give in.
- They do not worry when their child is “mad at them.”
- They do not reward their child for good behavior, good grades Material things - money, shopping trip, new toys, etc, do not teach a child to cope. They bribe the child to learn to manipulate to get their way.
- They do not allow the child more than 30 minutes a day of screen time - including TV, computer, games, social media, iPad, and phone - other than the least time it takes to complete their homework or assignments.
We can develop “happy habits” and help our children to do so as well! We can teach them how to be happy. And they will be happy for a lifetime!
Happiness is created by simple disciplines practiced every day, over and over.
Unhappiness is created by errors in judgement repeated over and over.
For more reading:
Link to Forbes article on crippling parent behaviors.
- Published on
Orthodontics treatment is much more complex, different and difficult than what many young patients assume. A doctor dedicated to his or her craft puts much education, study and experience into each orthodontic case he or she treats.
Dr. Chris Baker's book, "Your Child's Smile" is the best parent guide for their child's oral health. It has also been used as a dental school textbook.
Orthodontics is the practice of the realities of moving teeth through bone over a period of time.
This past week, we had two high school students who are interested in dentistry spend the days with us in internships. They came in each morning and would spend about half of our office hours with us.
The students encountered orthodontics from a totally different perspective than what they experienced when they were our patients. They both agreed, very surely, that orthodontic treatment seemed much more complex, different and difficult than they had assumed when they were patients.
Isn’t that the way life works?
Perception varies according to the view through which we see it. It’s like looking into a room from a window on one side and seeing one part of the room -- and then from the other side, the view through a different window makes the room seem totally different.
What we regard is often limited by what we know and see.
To a teenager having braces treatment, the experience is one without much visual awareness of what is being done with those braces. While they're sitting in the dental chair, their minds are full of schoolwork, classmate matters, family matters, athletic and other activities of that evening, and so on.
The patient's awareness of what we are doing with the “hardware” of orthodontic appliances is minimal. Once the appointment is completed, they can “get back” to their “real life.”
But seeing us work with the realities of moving teeth through hard, mineralized bone was a different matter for our high school interns.
Think of a bone. It is miraculous that by placing the right force in the right direction on teeth, we can move teeth through that seemingly impenetrable, dense structure.
And, amazingly, the bone restructures and remodels itself to complete its presence around the tooth in the new position.
Our interns learned that we cannot move one tooth without anchoring somewhere, somehow to other teeth. They found out that it is a challenging, mechanical, engineering process to accomplish a bite that will work and last for almost a hundred years, and provide a smile that will charm, comfort, engage, and communicate the soul within.
Our interns were impressed with the time the human body requires to allow teeth to move, and to remodel the bone -- and why it takes the time. The human body is dynamic - always changing. It is not static - staying the same.
Orthodontic changes are not guaranteed; they are not totally predictable; they are not stable over time without retention, because of the dynamic properties of the muscles, speech, habits, tongue position, tooth clenching or grinding, eating, biting, opening, closing and even wear of the teeth.
Plus, a growing patient adds the challenge of growth changes to what we are working to do for them.
We were glad to share with two young people who wanted to understand more about what dental care can offer to each person.
We look forward to their joining the professionals who provide that care.
The students encountered orthodontics from a totally different perspective than what they experienced when they were our patients. They both agreed, very surely, that orthodontic treatment seemed much more complex, different and difficult than they had assumed when they were patients.
Isn’t that the way life works?
Perception varies according to the view through which we see it. It’s like looking into a room from a window on one side and seeing one part of the room -- and then from the other side, the view through a different window makes the room seem totally different.
What we regard is often limited by what we know and see.
To a teenager having braces treatment, the experience is one without much visual awareness of what is being done with those braces. While they're sitting in the dental chair, their minds are full of schoolwork, classmate matters, family matters, athletic and other activities of that evening, and so on.
The patient's awareness of what we are doing with the “hardware” of orthodontic appliances is minimal. Once the appointment is completed, they can “get back” to their “real life.”
But seeing us work with the realities of moving teeth through hard, mineralized bone was a different matter for our high school interns.
Think of a bone. It is miraculous that by placing the right force in the right direction on teeth, we can move teeth through that seemingly impenetrable, dense structure.
And, amazingly, the bone restructures and remodels itself to complete its presence around the tooth in the new position.
Our interns learned that we cannot move one tooth without anchoring somewhere, somehow to other teeth. They found out that it is a challenging, mechanical, engineering process to accomplish a bite that will work and last for almost a hundred years, and provide a smile that will charm, comfort, engage, and communicate the soul within.
Our interns were impressed with the time the human body requires to allow teeth to move, and to remodel the bone -- and why it takes the time. The human body is dynamic - always changing. It is not static - staying the same.
Orthodontic changes are not guaranteed; they are not totally predictable; they are not stable over time without retention, because of the dynamic properties of the muscles, speech, habits, tongue position, tooth clenching or grinding, eating, biting, opening, closing and even wear of the teeth.
Plus, a growing patient adds the challenge of growth changes to what we are working to do for them.
We were glad to share with two young people who wanted to understand more about what dental care can offer to each person.
We look forward to their joining the professionals who provide that care.
- Published on
Studies have proven, repeatedly, that it is more healthy for a child's development to have physical play, rather than being physically sedentary and frequently exposed to screens.
Dr Chris Baker's book, REAL, is a treasure of resources for living a healthy lifestyle and raising productive children.
Screen use by young children is unhealthy. The American Academy of Pediatrics has issued warnings about this danger.
The dramatic increase in Autism Spectrum Disorders has been associated with screen use. Dream It! Leaving Autism Behind is an inspiring story of one young man's growth and development, leaving autism behind.
Screen time creates brain damage in children. as shown by at least 11 recent studies.
One school activity that has been proven to be beneficial for developing brains is cursive writing.
Despite the dangers posed by the use of screen by young children, many school classrooms incorporate their use.
“Children should be seen and not heard."
Say what???
Online, there are lots of articles, studies and blogs about how our children are faring today. One such article, by blogger Vicky Prooday is titled, “Why are our children so bored at school, cannot wait, get easily frustrated and have no real friends?”
Others discuss the huge increase in the diagnoses of Autism Spectrum Disorders, learning disabilities and other childhood mental health areas.
Why do many children begin school not emotionally able to cope with the school environment?
Why do so many children fare poorly on testing and educational measures?
Why is there such a huge increase in ADD/ADHD, with many children who cannot sit and learn, let alone cope?
Why does such a huge number of children exhibit signs of addiction to screens and completely fall apart when the screen is taken away?
Why do so many children not have real friends?
Why are we in pediatric dentistry finding that children are emotionally incapable of coping with the dental care environment? And why does a huge percentage of children receive routine dental care provided while sedated or under GA (general anesthesia)?
Our grandparents did not have these problems.
What has changed?
The answer lies in our modern culture, our current beliefs as parents and in our resultant inability to give our children what they need to develop — their abilities to learn, cope, to have and enjoy true friends and life — real life.
The changes in our modern culture include:
Cultural Change #1: Omnipresent screens, including TV, movies, iPads, computers, electronic games and phones, which severely harm our children in two ways:
Boredom due to a damaged nervous system, and addiction, both disconnect the child from the ability to learn, to enjoy other types of stimulation like playing outside, and to emotionally attach to their family and to real friends.
Cultural Change #2: Parents have come to believe it is good for the child to “be in charge”, for the child’s needs to be met as immediately and completely as possible. Quite frankly, we have become servants to our children and their desires.
I remember being shocked a few years ago when I had explained the child’s abscessed tooth and need for extraction of an infection that was dangerously close to his brain and encephalitis. The mom asked the child, “Do you want to get your tooth taken out today?”
That was shocking. It was not shocking to hear the child’s answer. What do you think most all children who cannot begin to understand infection, encephalitis, meningitis or dental treatment would say?
Of course, the child answered, “No.”
And once again, I was shocked to hear mom say to me, “Dr. Chris, he said ‘no’ for today.”
As our children do not learn to cope with difficult things or things they do not wish (dental treatment), they do not learn that they CAN cope.
Millions of children in modern society are much less equipped than previous generations to deal with the simplest frustrations. How will they cope with the real world someday in their jobs. Will they be able to hold a job?
How will our children be able to learn to enjoy eating nutritious foods and to exercise and stay healthy if they have learned they “don’t have to do what they don’t like”?
I had a parent explain to me that neither she, nor her child ate anything except “white foods.” When I looked quizzically at her, she explained that they ate breads, pasta, crackers, cakes, and popcorn. Oh - and their ‘treats’ (candy and sweets) could be other colors.
The media and modern culture teaches modern parents to think if their children appear to be content, they have succeeded.
Quite the opposite!. Our beliefs are killing the chances of our children being happy.
I have wondered out loud more than once, “Who will our children marry, if there are so few capable, healthy young adults?”
And, if reincarnation is a reality, then what sort of world will we come back to?
We must:
You see, no matter how charming and cute children are, they must learn not to expect others to give them attention to “build them up.” The child should be doing that for the people around them, in being sweet, gracious, polite and helpful.They will be the happier adult, future parent, spouse and friend.
My grandmother used to say, “Children should be seen and not heard.”
I thought that was a mean thing to say. Years later, she explained to me, when I had my own child, that she felt a child could be emotionally damaged by receiving too much attention and should not enter into the conversation until spoken to.
Now, I understand what she really meant. It’s for their well-being. And for our future.
After all, the brain and its function are more and more difficult to change as one gets older. Let us work on fixing what we can and doing well for our children. One might think that raising children is not “rocket science.” Well, in our modern culture — maybe it is!
Our children need us to help them grow and develop without the disabilities of impulsivity, attention-neediness, inability to focus and pay attention, inability to learn well, and inability to truly connect with others.
Happiness awaits!
Say what???
Online, there are lots of articles, studies and blogs about how our children are faring today. One such article, by blogger Vicky Prooday is titled, “Why are our children so bored at school, cannot wait, get easily frustrated and have no real friends?”
Others discuss the huge increase in the diagnoses of Autism Spectrum Disorders, learning disabilities and other childhood mental health areas.
Why do many children begin school not emotionally able to cope with the school environment?
Why do so many children fare poorly on testing and educational measures?
Why is there such a huge increase in ADD/ADHD, with many children who cannot sit and learn, let alone cope?
Why does such a huge number of children exhibit signs of addiction to screens and completely fall apart when the screen is taken away?
Why do so many children not have real friends?
Why are we in pediatric dentistry finding that children are emotionally incapable of coping with the dental care environment? And why does a huge percentage of children receive routine dental care provided while sedated or under GA (general anesthesia)?
Our grandparents did not have these problems.
What has changed?
The answer lies in our modern culture, our current beliefs as parents and in our resultant inability to give our children what they need to develop — their abilities to learn, cope, to have and enjoy true friends and life — real life.
The changes in our modern culture include:
Cultural Change #1: Omnipresent screens, including TV, movies, iPads, computers, electronic games and phones, which severely harm our children in two ways:
-
First, screen time creates brain damage, even in not a lot of exposure to screens. (Weng 2012, Hong, 2013, Zhou 2011, Yuan 2011 and 2013, Dong & Devito, 2013, Koepp, 1998, Kyhn, 2011, Ko, 2009, Han 2011, Kim, 2011 and Hou 2012)
- You can see the damage in your child when they are impulsive, moody and can’t pay attention. The sensory overload and hyper-aroused neural system are damaging their gray matter of their brain. YES - there is actually atrophy (shrinkage or loss of brain cells) in the areas, frontal lobe, where processing of screens occurs, and where planning, impulse control and ability to suppress unacceptable impulses occurs. And, the white matter in the brain, the functioning links between the various parts of the brain lobes and centers are damaged and not functioning properly.
- The brain’s size (particularly the outer layer, the cortex) is reduced.
- So, the BRAIN STRUCTURE AND ITS FUNCTION ARE DAMAGED.
- Second, screen use causes cravings. impaired dopamine function. This is ADDICTION.
Boredom due to a damaged nervous system, and addiction, both disconnect the child from the ability to learn, to enjoy other types of stimulation like playing outside, and to emotionally attach to their family and to real friends.
Cultural Change #2: Parents have come to believe it is good for the child to “be in charge”, for the child’s needs to be met as immediately and completely as possible. Quite frankly, we have become servants to our children and their desires.
I remember being shocked a few years ago when I had explained the child’s abscessed tooth and need for extraction of an infection that was dangerously close to his brain and encephalitis. The mom asked the child, “Do you want to get your tooth taken out today?”
That was shocking. It was not shocking to hear the child’s answer. What do you think most all children who cannot begin to understand infection, encephalitis, meningitis or dental treatment would say?
Of course, the child answered, “No.”
And once again, I was shocked to hear mom say to me, “Dr. Chris, he said ‘no’ for today.”
As our children do not learn to cope with difficult things or things they do not wish (dental treatment), they do not learn that they CAN cope.
Millions of children in modern society are much less equipped than previous generations to deal with the simplest frustrations. How will they cope with the real world someday in their jobs. Will they be able to hold a job?
How will our children be able to learn to enjoy eating nutritious foods and to exercise and stay healthy if they have learned they “don’t have to do what they don’t like”?
I had a parent explain to me that neither she, nor her child ate anything except “white foods.” When I looked quizzically at her, she explained that they ate breads, pasta, crackers, cakes, and popcorn. Oh - and their ‘treats’ (candy and sweets) could be other colors.
The media and modern culture teaches modern parents to think if their children appear to be content, they have succeeded.
Quite the opposite!. Our beliefs are killing the chances of our children being happy.
I have wondered out loud more than once, “Who will our children marry, if there are so few capable, healthy young adults?”
And, if reincarnation is a reality, then what sort of world will we come back to?
We must:
- Severely limit screens in our children’s lives.
- Limit screens in our own lives so we have time and energy to connect with our children emotionally and actually.
- Teach our children that they can cope - they can wait to eat dinner, or spend time outside and find it fun - and find the fun.
- Involve your children in every aspect of the family work - housework, cooking, table setting, packing lunch, folding laundry at first, and eventually doing the laundry.
- Teach “cotillion” courtesy skills - gracious behaviors that include saying thank you and please, sharing, taking turns, finding ways to make the other children and people feel loved and important to your child.
You see, no matter how charming and cute children are, they must learn not to expect others to give them attention to “build them up.” The child should be doing that for the people around them, in being sweet, gracious, polite and helpful.They will be the happier adult, future parent, spouse and friend.
My grandmother used to say, “Children should be seen and not heard.”
I thought that was a mean thing to say. Years later, she explained to me, when I had my own child, that she felt a child could be emotionally damaged by receiving too much attention and should not enter into the conversation until spoken to.
Now, I understand what she really meant. It’s for their well-being. And for our future.
After all, the brain and its function are more and more difficult to change as one gets older. Let us work on fixing what we can and doing well for our children. One might think that raising children is not “rocket science.” Well, in our modern culture — maybe it is!
Our children need us to help them grow and develop without the disabilities of impulsivity, attention-neediness, inability to focus and pay attention, inability to learn well, and inability to truly connect with others.
Happiness awaits!
- Published on
The challenges of orthodontic case finishing.
Even identical twins can have very different orthodontic needs. (Photo Raul Carabeo / Wikimedia Commons)
Dr Chris next teaches at the RMO Diagnostics & Early Treatment Seminar in Denver, August 18-19. For more information, call (303) 592-8268.
Dr Edward H Angle (1855-1930) is considered to be the father of American orthodontics. (Wikimedia Commons image)
Dr Chris Baker's book, "Your Child's Smile", is the premiere guide for parents who want to learn more about their children's oral health.
Dr Chris is very happy to lead a very happy team at the Advanced American Dental Center in Abu Dhabi, UAE.
Orthodontic treatment challenges the best of us. What seems easy to many patients, is often a tough job for the orthodontists!
Those of us who provide orthodontic treatment develop a keen awareness of the difficulties in our work with the constantly-changing human body. And, it’s over a relatively long period of time to accomplish orthodontic results.
Can you imagine? — We have learned ways to attach braces to teeth, move the teeth through bone, and remove the braces without harming the teeth? That in itself is almost crazy.
Even in this day and age of high tech, lasers, 3D printing and other miraculous medical treatments, it is still amazing that we can move teeth through bone into nicer positions. And more amazing, is that Dr. Edward Angle was doing it in 1900. (Dr. Angle was the inventor of modern orthodontics.)
It is of critical importance that in our performing the miraculous feat of moving teeth through hard bone, we take the health and well-being of the whole patient into consideration.
Of course, you say.
BUT that can be very difficult when coupled with the fact that each human body reacts differently to everything. Even identical twins’ teeth and treatment results are different.
Why is that a problem?
Because the variation in the human body’s reactions means that you can provide seemingly the exact same orthodontic treatment sequence, wires, brackets, and plan, and the results you see will vary so widely that it scares the bejiminy out of you!
Your patient treatment that you planned to make everything better for your patient puts you in a fret and worry fest. You start out to help and now you ask, “Why, oh why are the teeth doing THAT? And what should I do about it now?”
Or, how did I get into this pickle and how do I get out of it?
The inevitable, every-patient variations - the crazy-making happenings that scare you or prolong the patient’s treatment and take much more time than your patient wants, is, in the orthodontics world, called “finishing” the treatment.
“Finishing” starts before you bond the braces on. You work to identify the areas of likely challenge, the “outliers” in the patient’s presentation.
Then you work and practice to learn the many strategies to help address and salvage the orthodontic treatment so the problems don’t prolong treatment time and make patients, parents and you frustrated and unhappy.
In orthodontic treatment we must learn a lot of strategies, so we have a lot of tools in our toolbox, since EACH patient’s teeth will react differently.
We must choose the appropriate tools, or at least tools that seem as if they will be helpful, employ them and see what happens. Sometimes the tools we employ are not helpful. It depends on that human body’s physiology.
Like everything in life, finishing takes learning, practice, and more practice. As they say, “Why do you think they call it dental practice?”
An overview of finishing of orthodontic treatment entails a few areas:
First, learn to identify when and where the treatment has stopped progressing in the best ways and directions. Even that can be tough.
Secondly, learn and understand what you can do and what you cannot do. There are late growth patterns that befuddle you. We must learn what strategies may help, which strategies may intercept or guide growth even a little bit, and which strategies may worsen the situation.
We must learn what tooth eruption problems will likely not respond to efforts to get the teeth to erupt, and when we must counsel the parents and patient about implant replacement.
We must understand how difficult asymmetric treatment can be, and what may help. What to do with the peg lateral you want to maintain as a natural “implant,” and what to do with the missing lateral space?
Third, we gain capability in treatment strategies AND communication strategies to aide in addressing problems encountered mid to late treatment, such as inadequate molar buccal overjet, open bites, inadequate elastic wear, space that doesn’t close, crown and root torque problems, and marginal ridge height discrepancies.
Most of all, in order to prevent being in a pickle, early identification before you start treatment and consideration of the options of alternative treatment plans that may be better, gives us more awareness.
We can help the patient and parents understand realistic expectations concerning treatment time, pitfalls and possible complications.
Not getting into the “pickle” and also knowing what to do when it is unavoidable, is a powerful, valuable body of knowledge called “finishing.”
Learning more and more is the key!
Those of us who provide orthodontic treatment develop a keen awareness of the difficulties in our work with the constantly-changing human body. And, it’s over a relatively long period of time to accomplish orthodontic results.
Can you imagine? — We have learned ways to attach braces to teeth, move the teeth through bone, and remove the braces without harming the teeth? That in itself is almost crazy.
Even in this day and age of high tech, lasers, 3D printing and other miraculous medical treatments, it is still amazing that we can move teeth through bone into nicer positions. And more amazing, is that Dr. Edward Angle was doing it in 1900. (Dr. Angle was the inventor of modern orthodontics.)
It is of critical importance that in our performing the miraculous feat of moving teeth through hard bone, we take the health and well-being of the whole patient into consideration.
Of course, you say.
BUT that can be very difficult when coupled with the fact that each human body reacts differently to everything. Even identical twins’ teeth and treatment results are different.
Why is that a problem?
Because the variation in the human body’s reactions means that you can provide seemingly the exact same orthodontic treatment sequence, wires, brackets, and plan, and the results you see will vary so widely that it scares the bejiminy out of you!
Your patient treatment that you planned to make everything better for your patient puts you in a fret and worry fest. You start out to help and now you ask, “Why, oh why are the teeth doing THAT? And what should I do about it now?”
Or, how did I get into this pickle and how do I get out of it?
The inevitable, every-patient variations - the crazy-making happenings that scare you or prolong the patient’s treatment and take much more time than your patient wants, is, in the orthodontics world, called “finishing” the treatment.
“Finishing” starts before you bond the braces on. You work to identify the areas of likely challenge, the “outliers” in the patient’s presentation.
Then you work and practice to learn the many strategies to help address and salvage the orthodontic treatment so the problems don’t prolong treatment time and make patients, parents and you frustrated and unhappy.
In orthodontic treatment we must learn a lot of strategies, so we have a lot of tools in our toolbox, since EACH patient’s teeth will react differently.
We must choose the appropriate tools, or at least tools that seem as if they will be helpful, employ them and see what happens. Sometimes the tools we employ are not helpful. It depends on that human body’s physiology.
Like everything in life, finishing takes learning, practice, and more practice. As they say, “Why do you think they call it dental practice?”
An overview of finishing of orthodontic treatment entails a few areas:
First, learn to identify when and where the treatment has stopped progressing in the best ways and directions. Even that can be tough.
Secondly, learn and understand what you can do and what you cannot do. There are late growth patterns that befuddle you. We must learn what strategies may help, which strategies may intercept or guide growth even a little bit, and which strategies may worsen the situation.
We must learn what tooth eruption problems will likely not respond to efforts to get the teeth to erupt, and when we must counsel the parents and patient about implant replacement.
We must understand how difficult asymmetric treatment can be, and what may help. What to do with the peg lateral you want to maintain as a natural “implant,” and what to do with the missing lateral space?
Third, we gain capability in treatment strategies AND communication strategies to aide in addressing problems encountered mid to late treatment, such as inadequate molar buccal overjet, open bites, inadequate elastic wear, space that doesn’t close, crown and root torque problems, and marginal ridge height discrepancies.
Most of all, in order to prevent being in a pickle, early identification before you start treatment and consideration of the options of alternative treatment plans that may be better, gives us more awareness.
We can help the patient and parents understand realistic expectations concerning treatment time, pitfalls and possible complications.
Not getting into the “pickle” and also knowing what to do when it is unavoidable, is a powerful, valuable body of knowledge called “finishing.”
Learning more and more is the key!
- Published on
Kindness, commitment, dedication and integrity are key factors in a winning team. Dr Chris Baker and her husband Claude (back row) love working at the American Dental Center in Abu Dhabi, UAE.
Build a winning life with your team by using the strategies Dr Chris shares in her book, REAL.
The Pediatric and Orthodontic Department of the American Dental Center in Abu Dhabi.
At the American Dental Center in Abu Dhabi, UAE, I am so very fortunate to work with some amazing team members.
These ladies (and a gentleman or two) are the kind of people who make the world better just because they are in it.
These doctors and staff are kind, committed, dedicated, and have integrity. As most folks, each has a story of major challenges and the courageous ways they handled or are handling those challenges.
To start with, they have each left their home country after dental school or training, and come alone to the UAE to work. That takes some bravery!
Each morning, as we close our half hour report with “words for the day,” these ladies bring amazing words and energy to all of us.
They give me strength and make me better! How it could be that God has put me in the midst of this powerful love, I do not know. But there I am, smack dab in the middle of it!
Each and every one in this team, gives the patients love and exquisite orthodontic care, AND a smile. A smile for every single patient and parent. And you know what? We get it back - compounded interest. More back than we “put in.”
The wisdom this team lives carries us all in joy:
Play and laughter give us strength and heal our souls.
You don’t have tomorrow yet, and yesterday is gone. Make everything of this moment!
Miracles are ours so we can celebrate life. My smile and joyful energy flows through me to others and makes them happy.
And that makes me happy!
Hug your team this week. Isn’t life precious?
Love,
These ladies (and a gentleman or two) are the kind of people who make the world better just because they are in it.
These doctors and staff are kind, committed, dedicated, and have integrity. As most folks, each has a story of major challenges and the courageous ways they handled or are handling those challenges.
To start with, they have each left their home country after dental school or training, and come alone to the UAE to work. That takes some bravery!
Each morning, as we close our half hour report with “words for the day,” these ladies bring amazing words and energy to all of us.
They give me strength and make me better! How it could be that God has put me in the midst of this powerful love, I do not know. But there I am, smack dab in the middle of it!
Each and every one in this team, gives the patients love and exquisite orthodontic care, AND a smile. A smile for every single patient and parent. And you know what? We get it back - compounded interest. More back than we “put in.”
The wisdom this team lives carries us all in joy:
Play and laughter give us strength and heal our souls.
You don’t have tomorrow yet, and yesterday is gone. Make everything of this moment!
Miracles are ours so we can celebrate life. My smile and joyful energy flows through me to others and makes them happy.
And that makes me happy!
Hug your team this week. Isn’t life precious?
Love,
- Published on
Holding your child accountable gives them strength and capability to live well in the world.
Psychologist Dr John Rosemond's book, New Parent Power!, is an excellent guide for parents wanting to raise responsible children.
The parents are in charge of setting the boundaries for their child's life.
Dr Chris Baker's book, REAL, is an excellent guide for living a health and productive life, including wise advice for parenting.
Self-discipline, respectfulness and responsibility help lead a child to live a productive life of accomplishment
Holding your child accountable (responsible) gives them strength and capability to live well in the world. BUT - IT’S HARDER TO TEACH THEM RESPONSIBILITY, than to do things yourself. Yet, it is worth it!! Here are some important ways to raise a responsible young adult, beginning in toddler-hood.
ONE: It’s easier to pick up after your children than to have them do it. Resist doing that.
Teach them that after playtime is clean up time. Teach them that after meals is clean up time and they are responsible until it’s complete.
No more dishes put into the sink for you to clean. No more leaving the kitchen before all clean up is finished. A toddler can happily sit on the counter after she finishes what she can do, as you finish up what you need to do. You are teaching her what is entailed in the after-meal time, and she will want to help more and more. That’s what toddlers do! Take advantage.
Teach your children now, before they expect NOT to participate in clean-up.
TWO: Never allow your children to speak disrespectfully to you.
Your child needs the security of your being in charge. As he/she learns to be respectful to you, his future is brighter - better jobs, better relationships, better life. It’s hard to imagine that precious baby becoming a master manipulator, but indeed, they quickly learn what makes you give in.
“Mommy, I hate you!”
Whoa - those words lay you back! You are stymied, paralyzed.
'If my child hates me, then I am really worthless, right?' WRONG!
If your child learns those words work to get him what he wants, then we are harming his character. Words that sink your heart are just words. They are your child’s attempt to get his/her way. Truly!
THREE: You are in charge of setting the boundaries for your child’s life.
You decide the boundaries of what they wear, what they do, what music they listen to, what and how much screen time they get, if any. (The studies are coming out faster and faster showing how damaging screens are for children and teenagers' brain development and ability to cope with life and future happiness.)
It’s right to say, “No, you may not have that child over (or spend time with) - we don’t like those people,” and, “No, we will not spend money on that.”
This is how character is developed. This is how a child learns what is right. These child-raising boundaries give your child the best chance possible.
FOUR: Teach them dropping out is not an option.
If a child wants to “quit” his karate lessons, piano lessons, soccer team, and so on, find out why. Most likely they just don’t “feel like” putting forth the effort.
It is a valuable life lesson to “never give up.” Plus, these activities have been shown in studies to help them do better academically. Unless your child is burdened with TOO MANY ACTIVITIES, keep the activity up! Keep taking them to the activity! You are forming character, intelligence and coping!
FIVE: A child being rude or behaving badly is a child behaving as a spoiled brat.
Do not allow a child to practice spoiled-brat behavior. The younger your child is, the easier it is to teach polite and gracious behavior. If you say, “thank you,” your child will follow suit. If your child has just demanded something in a rude way, you can have them repeat their “request” in a polite way.
For example, “Give me candy!” — “May I please have some candy?” Be sure they say the whole sentence. Training them to add “Please” to their demand is not teaching graciousness. Training them to say a polite question is teaching the right way. AND, YOU MAY STILL SAY “NO” to their question.
Teaching graciousness is one boundary, and what they may have is another boundary. You get two for the price of one here!
You may enjoy John Rosemond’s work on these topics. As a child psychologist, he’s written and spoken about raising happy and responsible children for decades. HIs books are supportive, full of sanity and wonderful.
Always follow through.
When you tell your child that she must stop screaming, or go to his room, follow through. Better, give her the choice,”You may stop screaming or you may go to your room. Which do you choose?”
If she says, “I don’t choose either one,” you may say, “That’s fine. Then I choose for you. And take her to her room (a room without electronic screens, wifi access, etc, but with books and paper and pencil or crayons).
She needs to know you mean it.
Pretty soon your children will be doing better. Keep going!
Pretty soon they will be coping, and then you’ll notice they actually expect you to say, “No.” They’ll stop asking as often, and they’ll be more pleasant to be around. Your friends will notice what nice children you have. Life gets easier. And better. Your children will have a brighter future.
Congratulations to you! You are a role model of note. You will raise healthier children. You are loving in the greatest ways!
ONE: It’s easier to pick up after your children than to have them do it. Resist doing that.
Teach them that after playtime is clean up time. Teach them that after meals is clean up time and they are responsible until it’s complete.
No more dishes put into the sink for you to clean. No more leaving the kitchen before all clean up is finished. A toddler can happily sit on the counter after she finishes what she can do, as you finish up what you need to do. You are teaching her what is entailed in the after-meal time, and she will want to help more and more. That’s what toddlers do! Take advantage.
Teach your children now, before they expect NOT to participate in clean-up.
TWO: Never allow your children to speak disrespectfully to you.
Your child needs the security of your being in charge. As he/she learns to be respectful to you, his future is brighter - better jobs, better relationships, better life. It’s hard to imagine that precious baby becoming a master manipulator, but indeed, they quickly learn what makes you give in.
“Mommy, I hate you!”
Whoa - those words lay you back! You are stymied, paralyzed.
'If my child hates me, then I am really worthless, right?' WRONG!
If your child learns those words work to get him what he wants, then we are harming his character. Words that sink your heart are just words. They are your child’s attempt to get his/her way. Truly!
THREE: You are in charge of setting the boundaries for your child’s life.
You decide the boundaries of what they wear, what they do, what music they listen to, what and how much screen time they get, if any. (The studies are coming out faster and faster showing how damaging screens are for children and teenagers' brain development and ability to cope with life and future happiness.)
It’s right to say, “No, you may not have that child over (or spend time with) - we don’t like those people,” and, “No, we will not spend money on that.”
This is how character is developed. This is how a child learns what is right. These child-raising boundaries give your child the best chance possible.
FOUR: Teach them dropping out is not an option.
If a child wants to “quit” his karate lessons, piano lessons, soccer team, and so on, find out why. Most likely they just don’t “feel like” putting forth the effort.
It is a valuable life lesson to “never give up.” Plus, these activities have been shown in studies to help them do better academically. Unless your child is burdened with TOO MANY ACTIVITIES, keep the activity up! Keep taking them to the activity! You are forming character, intelligence and coping!
FIVE: A child being rude or behaving badly is a child behaving as a spoiled brat.
Do not allow a child to practice spoiled-brat behavior. The younger your child is, the easier it is to teach polite and gracious behavior. If you say, “thank you,” your child will follow suit. If your child has just demanded something in a rude way, you can have them repeat their “request” in a polite way.
For example, “Give me candy!” — “May I please have some candy?” Be sure they say the whole sentence. Training them to add “Please” to their demand is not teaching graciousness. Training them to say a polite question is teaching the right way. AND, YOU MAY STILL SAY “NO” to their question.
Teaching graciousness is one boundary, and what they may have is another boundary. You get two for the price of one here!
You may enjoy John Rosemond’s work on these topics. As a child psychologist, he’s written and spoken about raising happy and responsible children for decades. HIs books are supportive, full of sanity and wonderful.
Always follow through.
When you tell your child that she must stop screaming, or go to his room, follow through. Better, give her the choice,”You may stop screaming or you may go to your room. Which do you choose?”
If she says, “I don’t choose either one,” you may say, “That’s fine. Then I choose for you. And take her to her room (a room without electronic screens, wifi access, etc, but with books and paper and pencil or crayons).
She needs to know you mean it.
Pretty soon your children will be doing better. Keep going!
Pretty soon they will be coping, and then you’ll notice they actually expect you to say, “No.” They’ll stop asking as often, and they’ll be more pleasant to be around. Your friends will notice what nice children you have. Life gets easier. And better. Your children will have a brighter future.
Congratulations to you! You are a role model of note. You will raise healthier children. You are loving in the greatest ways!
- Published on
Future generations of your family will bloom and prosper if you teach your child self-discipline and respect.
Dr John Rosemond's excellent book, "New Parent Power!" is a useful guide for raising responsible children.
A child's character and personality are like gardens. There is regular "weeding" needing to be done to ensure responsibility and character. This is what successful parenting accomplishes.
The Four Steps to Raising a Brat
1. Work hard to make sure your child likes you all the time.
2. Give them everything they want.
3. Baby them - give in when they whine.
4. Don’t ever hold them accountable. No consequences - ever.
I remember holding my newborn son upon arrival home from the hospital, and as I caressed his tiny perfect feet, I thought, “I don’t want him ever to be hurt. Ever.” My instinct to protect this precious baby I had birthed just a couple of days before, was so strong I knew I’d give my life for him.
It is a confusing thing to love a child with that intensity, and to need to learn quickly (they grow so quickly) how to temper that instinct to give them everything they want.
Even babies can be very convincing. Their instincts to get everything they want are as strong as our instinct to give it to them.
What a conundrum for the parent! And, surely, as Jennie Scott says, “We’re killing our kids and calling it love.”
Look at these definitions:
spoil / spoil/
Think about it - the selling of t-shirts that say, “I’m a spoiled brat - and proud of it!”
And, “I’m the one in charge here.” These shirts on children reinforce that a child who is being spoiled (harmed) is somehow to be proud of it!
Let’s get back to basics here:
How are we spoiling our children? How are we missing the boat in raising them?
Here are the major ways. I'll repeat myself, here. Society teaches you to:
1. Work hard to make sure your child likes you all the time.
2. Give them everything they want.
3. Baby them - give in when they whine.
4. Don’t ever hold them accountable. No consequences - ever.
Diana, a dear friend and fantastic mom of eight children (three biologic and five adopted), once told me, “Our job as parents is to raise a child up to be a great parent.”
Wow! That puts it in perspective.
We are our children’s hope for the future. We are the world’s hope for the future.
Your child will NOT like you all the time.
- If you don’t give them everything they want, they will NOT like you all the time.
- And if you DO give them “everything they want,” they will NOT like you all the time!
That is because the more you give, the more they want. Not only can you not keep up and cannot give them everything they want, the child comes to believe the world works like that. The parent is training the child to be demanding, expectant, entitled, whiny, and eventually possibly violently demanding.
A temper tantrum in a two-year-old is tiresome and no fun. When it occurs at 13, it can be downright frightening. The only way to reduce that possibility is to stand your ground when they are two (and always). It is right to deny them EVERYTHING they are demanding in the two-year-old tantrum, so they can learn that doesn’t work.
It’s hard for you to realize that your child won’t understand why you stood your ground and why they were raised differently than their friends, until they are MUCH older. It may not be until they have their own children that they understand. That time seems very far off.
It’s hard for you to deal with your child being upset now. But, giving in to anything and everything they want is hurting their character. It will hurt the character of your future grandchildren (because your grandchildren’s parents will not have had a role model to follow in raising your grandchildren.) It’s the opposite of loving your children.
Giving in “eventually” when they whine and carry on teaches children that you have to whine and carry on to get what you want. It teaches them that “No” means “Whine and carry on, and wait a few minutes, to get what you want.” It teaches your children that they can have what they want if they act badly.
This will destroy their lives, because the world doesn’t work that way. Know what would happen if you whine and carry on when your boss says, “No”? At best you wouldn’t get what you want. At worst - ??
Jennie Scott, in her writing about raising children, points out that “The measuring stick of successful parenting is definitely not happy children. Well-adjusted, responsible, kind and selfless children? Absolutely. Happy and spoiled? No way. “
Being a parent is hard work. It’s harder to be a good parent. It’s harder to get up off the couch and pick up your child who is not picking his toys up, than to sit on the couch and “count to three.” But counting to three is spoiling the child. It’s harder to insist the child takes his dish to the dishwasher than to carry it with yours. It’s harder to be a great parent!
I remember my mother, Joy, teaching us how to be great parents. Joy would have been proud of me, after I had instructed my three-year-old granddaughter to pick up her blocks. When she looked at me with a bit of a sideways smile and did NOT begin to pick up anything, I got up and went to her, took her little hand in mine, and “picked up” a block with my hand and her hand, then another and another.
She grinned, enjoyed it, then said, “I can do it!” Then she picked up the rest of the blocks.
Ka-ching! Investment (leaving my comfortable chair, to teach her) paid off immediately!
Yes, it’s harder to be a great parent!
But you can do it. Your love is strong enough to raise a child who is well-adjusted, responsible, kind and selfless. Your love is strong enough to set boundaries that give your child security and teach how to live contentedly in a world of many boundaries.
Your love is strong enough to realize what is going on, and how to strengthen your child’s character, despite media and advertisers’ working to convince you to spend all your money on your child, to give them junk food, to support the gaming industry, all at your child’s expense, (as well as at YOUR EXPENSE).
Love them in the best ways! Your “no’s” to the children are hardest for YOU. They will cope. And when you see them becoming less spoiled, less insistent, less demanding, you will be happy to know you are succeeding in raising a child of character. And in so doing, you will be loving yourself.
Next blog: So what are some steps to raising a great parent of the future?
1. Work hard to make sure your child likes you all the time.
2. Give them everything they want.
3. Baby them - give in when they whine.
4. Don’t ever hold them accountable. No consequences - ever.
I remember holding my newborn son upon arrival home from the hospital, and as I caressed his tiny perfect feet, I thought, “I don’t want him ever to be hurt. Ever.” My instinct to protect this precious baby I had birthed just a couple of days before, was so strong I knew I’d give my life for him.
It is a confusing thing to love a child with that intensity, and to need to learn quickly (they grow so quickly) how to temper that instinct to give them everything they want.
Even babies can be very convincing. Their instincts to get everything they want are as strong as our instinct to give it to them.
What a conundrum for the parent! And, surely, as Jennie Scott says, “We’re killing our kids and calling it love.”
Look at these definitions:
spoil / spoil/
- v. (past tense spoiled or Brit. spoilt) 1. to diminish or destroy the value or quality of; 2. to destroy or reduce the pleasure, interest, or beauty of; 3. to harm the character of a child by being too lenient or indulgent
- n. a child, especially an annoying, impolite or spoiled child
- Children and teens who are perceived as spoiled may be described as "overindulged", "grandiose", "narcissistic" or “egocentric-regressed”.
Think about it - the selling of t-shirts that say, “I’m a spoiled brat - and proud of it!”
And, “I’m the one in charge here.” These shirts on children reinforce that a child who is being spoiled (harmed) is somehow to be proud of it!
Let’s get back to basics here:
How are we spoiling our children? How are we missing the boat in raising them?
Here are the major ways. I'll repeat myself, here. Society teaches you to:
1. Work hard to make sure your child likes you all the time.
2. Give them everything they want.
3. Baby them - give in when they whine.
4. Don’t ever hold them accountable. No consequences - ever.
Diana, a dear friend and fantastic mom of eight children (three biologic and five adopted), once told me, “Our job as parents is to raise a child up to be a great parent.”
Wow! That puts it in perspective.
We are our children’s hope for the future. We are the world’s hope for the future.
Your child will NOT like you all the time.
- If you don’t give them everything they want, they will NOT like you all the time.
- And if you DO give them “everything they want,” they will NOT like you all the time!
That is because the more you give, the more they want. Not only can you not keep up and cannot give them everything they want, the child comes to believe the world works like that. The parent is training the child to be demanding, expectant, entitled, whiny, and eventually possibly violently demanding.
A temper tantrum in a two-year-old is tiresome and no fun. When it occurs at 13, it can be downright frightening. The only way to reduce that possibility is to stand your ground when they are two (and always). It is right to deny them EVERYTHING they are demanding in the two-year-old tantrum, so they can learn that doesn’t work.
It’s hard for you to realize that your child won’t understand why you stood your ground and why they were raised differently than their friends, until they are MUCH older. It may not be until they have their own children that they understand. That time seems very far off.
It’s hard for you to deal with your child being upset now. But, giving in to anything and everything they want is hurting their character. It will hurt the character of your future grandchildren (because your grandchildren’s parents will not have had a role model to follow in raising your grandchildren.) It’s the opposite of loving your children.
Giving in “eventually” when they whine and carry on teaches children that you have to whine and carry on to get what you want. It teaches them that “No” means “Whine and carry on, and wait a few minutes, to get what you want.” It teaches your children that they can have what they want if they act badly.
This will destroy their lives, because the world doesn’t work that way. Know what would happen if you whine and carry on when your boss says, “No”? At best you wouldn’t get what you want. At worst - ??
Jennie Scott, in her writing about raising children, points out that “The measuring stick of successful parenting is definitely not happy children. Well-adjusted, responsible, kind and selfless children? Absolutely. Happy and spoiled? No way. “
Being a parent is hard work. It’s harder to be a good parent. It’s harder to get up off the couch and pick up your child who is not picking his toys up, than to sit on the couch and “count to three.” But counting to three is spoiling the child. It’s harder to insist the child takes his dish to the dishwasher than to carry it with yours. It’s harder to be a great parent!
I remember my mother, Joy, teaching us how to be great parents. Joy would have been proud of me, after I had instructed my three-year-old granddaughter to pick up her blocks. When she looked at me with a bit of a sideways smile and did NOT begin to pick up anything, I got up and went to her, took her little hand in mine, and “picked up” a block with my hand and her hand, then another and another.
She grinned, enjoyed it, then said, “I can do it!” Then she picked up the rest of the blocks.
Ka-ching! Investment (leaving my comfortable chair, to teach her) paid off immediately!
Yes, it’s harder to be a great parent!
But you can do it. Your love is strong enough to raise a child who is well-adjusted, responsible, kind and selfless. Your love is strong enough to set boundaries that give your child security and teach how to live contentedly in a world of many boundaries.
Your love is strong enough to realize what is going on, and how to strengthen your child’s character, despite media and advertisers’ working to convince you to spend all your money on your child, to give them junk food, to support the gaming industry, all at your child’s expense, (as well as at YOUR EXPENSE).
Love them in the best ways! Your “no’s” to the children are hardest for YOU. They will cope. And when you see them becoming less spoiled, less insistent, less demanding, you will be happy to know you are succeeding in raising a child of character. And in so doing, you will be loving yourself.
Next blog: So what are some steps to raising a great parent of the future?
- Published on
Raising confident, self-reliant children should be a priority in modern society. The combination of gratitude and perseverance will serve them all their lives.
Dr Chris Baker's book, REAL, gives life strategies, including guidance for parents wanting to raise responsible, mature children.
A sense of personal responsibility is vital for children to develop happy and productive lives.
Dr John Rosemond's book, New Parent Power!, is a classic work on how to raise emotionally mature, stable and responsible children.
Putting your children on the right path to emotional stability and maturity requires giving them life tasks that accustom them to responsibility and confidence.
Her mother and father are in grief, probably still every day. Maybe she had siblings who are as well. She died one morning in August, 2016, when she took her life, jumping from her eighth floor medical school dorm room in New York City.
The medical school is scrambling to “pledge more compassion,” according to the dean of the Mount Sinai Medical School in his essay in the New England Journal of Medicine.
Why would he say that? People who go into Medicine are typically quite compassionate to begin with. They care about others. Most of them.
Of course, within any group of people, there are those who may be driven more by financial reasons, or who have mental health issues, even severe ones. But still, why would he say they will pledge more compassion? He’s on the hot-seat. His school has lost two medical students to suicide recently.
So, the spokesperson for the school has to respond.
Let us look at what seems to be going on.
Firstly: Culture of blame/victimhood. Our culture has become one of blame - both through our human wish to not think “bad” things are our fault and through our legal system that follows and assigns blame, and quite honestly, punishment, for the blamed.
Shall we call it blame?
Or shall we call it victim-mentality?
We have lost way too much of our sense of personal responsibility. We are not teaching our children responsibility. Our culture is rife with children who are not growing up well. The media is full of information about how the millennials, our young people “need” more support and direction in the workforce, and are not as capable of full responsibility and enjoyment in the working world as their predecessors.
Should a physician not be one of the MOST responsible members of society? The “millennials” are reputed to be sensitive, incapable of the kind of responsibility and commitment that their parents and grandparents exhibit. They have been called “snowflakes” referring to their fragility.
Do we want fragile physicians?
Secondly: Belief in mental issues, mental illness, and need for psychiatric counseling. The follow-up to the medical student suicides has the schools looking at how they can provide more support to the students in the area of psychiatric visits for mental health support at discounted fees, and “breaks” after the adult medical students experience the death of a patient.
Reading a recent Wall Street Journal article (Lagnado L, After Tragedy, Med School Pledges More Compassion. WSJ 2017.03.23), I found myself agape.
As a 10-year critical care nurse, I not only experienced death of patients on a regular basis, but was responsible for the life-saving measures to attempt to save and prolong life. Did we nurses feel affected when a patient died?
Of course. What did I feel when the cardiologist patted me on the shoulder, and said, “Do what you can,” and left the ICU? I felt a sense of huge responsibility, commitment, love and concern for the patient and family.
What did I feel when we had lost a child patient in the emergency room and the attending ER doc said, “Would you go tell the family?” Huge responsibility, commitment, love and concern. I knew I could do that well, even knowing I would most likely be teary with the parents, and help them through the first moments.
And these docs who delegated huge responsibility to a capable and dedicated nurse were not snowflakes. They were quite responsible with venerable careers in medicine who were sharing shouldering the burden of human suffering.
None of my colleagues nor the physicians that I knew well had psychiatric or psychologic counseling or “breaks” when the patient died. We all grew emotionally, spiritually, and in our awareness of the preciousness of life as well as the limitations of life, medicine — even modern medicine.
For me and my colleagues, in medicine and in patient care, each day is one full of anticipation and excitement for what we can bring to our patients. It is a day full of Gratitude as the day’s operative belief.
Why are medical school academics not familiar and comfortable for the medical student?
OK - I went to dental school, AND worked basically full-time as a nurse, through my four years of dental school. I have been appointed to faculties at 3 dental schools and taught medical and dental students, and I have been part of admission committees deciding which applicants get an interview, and which of the interviewees get an offer to be a student in that school.
I have watched my son become a dental school faculty member after his medical school education, and in addition to his huge responsibilities running two clinics, faculty practice, and the other a patient care clinic, he is doing his post-doctoral Master’s in Public Health and being an active husband and father in his nuclear family. (And yes, he has a wonderful wife!) He loves it all. It makes for a wonderful life of love of others.
As to the medical education and its academic pressures: The students admitted to medical school have demonstrated academic ability in the tough pre-med courses, and finish those with high GPA’s, high MCAT scores, and high involvement in extra-curricular activities. In fact, the committees aren’t interested in students who have not shown a high involvement in extra-curricular areas, including work.
Why? Because, the student who has not handled the well-rounded schedule of schoolwork, community work, and other areas of teamwork, will not thrive in medical school. Other areas of teamwork include athletics, music (choir, band, etc.), volunteer work. These help show an applicant’s balance and “whole-person-ness.”
Grueling academics? Sure, it’s top-level academics. Don’t you want your physician to know stuff? But grueling? These students have shown they can handle their demanding academics and still handle life. There are days, weeks, semesters, in medical school that challenge one, and especially the student with a young family, or with family members who are very ill, or a marriage that is not solid.
And, the schools might need to improve their support of those students in that the student should be encouraged to take a leave of absence in order to deal with the life-challenges and then come back to medical school if they feel — and are — ready.
Surely, even our most capable students, admitted to medical school, having grown up in our victim-culture, modern media, including news, movies and social-media, and resultant societal beliefs, are vulnerable to, as the articles suggest, the “burn-out” and depression of being a medical student.
It is the school’s responsibility to help any students that are not thriving, to be identified and counseled that the fit of the profession may not be for them, to encourage student groups to discuss and help each other in the experiences of medical training. But to decide that, as Mt Sinai has done, that “honors” should be given to more than just the 25% that earned it, that “high pass” should also be given to a bigger group, is absurd. Their rationale is that the system “PROVOKED intense rivalry among students,” is the same sort of thinking that leads every soccer player to get a trophy.
And so, Mt Sinai med school “hopes to drop these limits altogether.” Every student will be equal.
REALLY?
Isn’t that more of what got us into this mess already? When the students have no evaluations or performance grading, how will the residencies and post-doctoral specialty programs choose their applicants from the pool. The suicidal med student will be an equivalent candidate to the most mature med student?
What kind of medical care will be provided by the student who has been told he is “honors” material when he is not, or by the student who believes he is “burned out” when he graduates, or by the student who utilizes the psychiatrist who is treating the mental health issues the young physician believes he has? Do you want your physician to be one of those doctors?
And, as my husband Claude points out, after his law school education, what a field-day the lawyers will have when a family or patient sues the doctor who has a history of psychiatric /psychologic counseling throughout school and beyond. (HIPAA, you say?
There is no such thing as confidentiality today. Just ask the leakers of the highest level confidential and classified information in the news, no less. No, on top of burn out, those physicians will have a hell of a time with the lawyers.
Yes, the medical schools owe their students the responsibility of taking the most ready, capable, mature, mentally healthy applicants, and then monitoring them at every level possible, and guiding, supporting and mentoring them to remain capable, mature, and mentally healthy. The schools must understand that what we believe is what we become.
The physicians who are responsible for these medical students must be brave enough to notice, say so, help as they can, including limiting the at-risk student to a leave of absence, or out of school. That is far better than seeing medical student lives lost to suicide, AND patient lives lost to mentally fragile physicians.
And we as parents must work on teaching our children responsibility and not victimhood. Let us have days full of Gratitude as the day’s operative belief. It is time.
The medical school is scrambling to “pledge more compassion,” according to the dean of the Mount Sinai Medical School in his essay in the New England Journal of Medicine.
Why would he say that? People who go into Medicine are typically quite compassionate to begin with. They care about others. Most of them.
Of course, within any group of people, there are those who may be driven more by financial reasons, or who have mental health issues, even severe ones. But still, why would he say they will pledge more compassion? He’s on the hot-seat. His school has lost two medical students to suicide recently.
So, the spokesperson for the school has to respond.
Let us look at what seems to be going on.
Firstly: Culture of blame/victimhood. Our culture has become one of blame - both through our human wish to not think “bad” things are our fault and through our legal system that follows and assigns blame, and quite honestly, punishment, for the blamed.
Shall we call it blame?
Or shall we call it victim-mentality?
We have lost way too much of our sense of personal responsibility. We are not teaching our children responsibility. Our culture is rife with children who are not growing up well. The media is full of information about how the millennials, our young people “need” more support and direction in the workforce, and are not as capable of full responsibility and enjoyment in the working world as their predecessors.
Should a physician not be one of the MOST responsible members of society? The “millennials” are reputed to be sensitive, incapable of the kind of responsibility and commitment that their parents and grandparents exhibit. They have been called “snowflakes” referring to their fragility.
Do we want fragile physicians?
Secondly: Belief in mental issues, mental illness, and need for psychiatric counseling. The follow-up to the medical student suicides has the schools looking at how they can provide more support to the students in the area of psychiatric visits for mental health support at discounted fees, and “breaks” after the adult medical students experience the death of a patient.
Reading a recent Wall Street Journal article (Lagnado L, After Tragedy, Med School Pledges More Compassion. WSJ 2017.03.23), I found myself agape.
As a 10-year critical care nurse, I not only experienced death of patients on a regular basis, but was responsible for the life-saving measures to attempt to save and prolong life. Did we nurses feel affected when a patient died?
Of course. What did I feel when the cardiologist patted me on the shoulder, and said, “Do what you can,” and left the ICU? I felt a sense of huge responsibility, commitment, love and concern for the patient and family.
What did I feel when we had lost a child patient in the emergency room and the attending ER doc said, “Would you go tell the family?” Huge responsibility, commitment, love and concern. I knew I could do that well, even knowing I would most likely be teary with the parents, and help them through the first moments.
And these docs who delegated huge responsibility to a capable and dedicated nurse were not snowflakes. They were quite responsible with venerable careers in medicine who were sharing shouldering the burden of human suffering.
None of my colleagues nor the physicians that I knew well had psychiatric or psychologic counseling or “breaks” when the patient died. We all grew emotionally, spiritually, and in our awareness of the preciousness of life as well as the limitations of life, medicine — even modern medicine.
For me and my colleagues, in medicine and in patient care, each day is one full of anticipation and excitement for what we can bring to our patients. It is a day full of Gratitude as the day’s operative belief.
Why are medical school academics not familiar and comfortable for the medical student?
OK - I went to dental school, AND worked basically full-time as a nurse, through my four years of dental school. I have been appointed to faculties at 3 dental schools and taught medical and dental students, and I have been part of admission committees deciding which applicants get an interview, and which of the interviewees get an offer to be a student in that school.
I have watched my son become a dental school faculty member after his medical school education, and in addition to his huge responsibilities running two clinics, faculty practice, and the other a patient care clinic, he is doing his post-doctoral Master’s in Public Health and being an active husband and father in his nuclear family. (And yes, he has a wonderful wife!) He loves it all. It makes for a wonderful life of love of others.
As to the medical education and its academic pressures: The students admitted to medical school have demonstrated academic ability in the tough pre-med courses, and finish those with high GPA’s, high MCAT scores, and high involvement in extra-curricular activities. In fact, the committees aren’t interested in students who have not shown a high involvement in extra-curricular areas, including work.
Why? Because, the student who has not handled the well-rounded schedule of schoolwork, community work, and other areas of teamwork, will not thrive in medical school. Other areas of teamwork include athletics, music (choir, band, etc.), volunteer work. These help show an applicant’s balance and “whole-person-ness.”
Grueling academics? Sure, it’s top-level academics. Don’t you want your physician to know stuff? But grueling? These students have shown they can handle their demanding academics and still handle life. There are days, weeks, semesters, in medical school that challenge one, and especially the student with a young family, or with family members who are very ill, or a marriage that is not solid.
And, the schools might need to improve their support of those students in that the student should be encouraged to take a leave of absence in order to deal with the life-challenges and then come back to medical school if they feel — and are — ready.
Surely, even our most capable students, admitted to medical school, having grown up in our victim-culture, modern media, including news, movies and social-media, and resultant societal beliefs, are vulnerable to, as the articles suggest, the “burn-out” and depression of being a medical student.
It is the school’s responsibility to help any students that are not thriving, to be identified and counseled that the fit of the profession may not be for them, to encourage student groups to discuss and help each other in the experiences of medical training. But to decide that, as Mt Sinai has done, that “honors” should be given to more than just the 25% that earned it, that “high pass” should also be given to a bigger group, is absurd. Their rationale is that the system “PROVOKED intense rivalry among students,” is the same sort of thinking that leads every soccer player to get a trophy.
And so, Mt Sinai med school “hopes to drop these limits altogether.” Every student will be equal.
REALLY?
Isn’t that more of what got us into this mess already? When the students have no evaluations or performance grading, how will the residencies and post-doctoral specialty programs choose their applicants from the pool. The suicidal med student will be an equivalent candidate to the most mature med student?
What kind of medical care will be provided by the student who has been told he is “honors” material when he is not, or by the student who believes he is “burned out” when he graduates, or by the student who utilizes the psychiatrist who is treating the mental health issues the young physician believes he has? Do you want your physician to be one of those doctors?
And, as my husband Claude points out, after his law school education, what a field-day the lawyers will have when a family or patient sues the doctor who has a history of psychiatric /psychologic counseling throughout school and beyond. (HIPAA, you say?
There is no such thing as confidentiality today. Just ask the leakers of the highest level confidential and classified information in the news, no less. No, on top of burn out, those physicians will have a hell of a time with the lawyers.
Yes, the medical schools owe their students the responsibility of taking the most ready, capable, mature, mentally healthy applicants, and then monitoring them at every level possible, and guiding, supporting and mentoring them to remain capable, mature, and mentally healthy. The schools must understand that what we believe is what we become.
The physicians who are responsible for these medical students must be brave enough to notice, say so, help as they can, including limiting the at-risk student to a leave of absence, or out of school. That is far better than seeing medical student lives lost to suicide, AND patient lives lost to mentally fragile physicians.
And we as parents must work on teaching our children responsibility and not victimhood. Let us have days full of Gratitude as the day’s operative belief. It is time.
- Published on
Activities for children where they learn real-life skills are far healthier than screen use.
Cris A. Rowan's book, Virtual Child, describes the dangers to children created by screen use.
Excluding screen use by children helps create a bright future for your child.
Handheld Devices should be banned for children under the age of 12, AND screens and technology should be severely limited with all children.
Why? The American Academy of Pediatrics and the Canadian Society of Pediatrics say:
Because use of screen technology (TV, cell phones, electronic games, internet, iPads, tablets, computers) is associated with:
Pediatricians report seeing patients age 3 to 6 years old who have become addicted to their devices and do not sleep more than 4 hours a night, and cannot cope with the device being taken away.
High frequency gamma brainwaves are associated with perception and higher brain activity, and are present when a child is telling a story, listening to a story, drawing or playing imaginatively with other children.
Research shows this brain activity flatlines (is ABSENT) when children are on screens. This is serious, especially in a child whose brain should be rapidly developing at age 2... or 3... or 4... or 8 or 9…
Instead, the doctors are seeing the children because they do not sleep, have delayed speech and have persistent headaches, ADD, ADHD.
The terrifying truth is that technology is taking our children’s futures! Read: Virtual Child: The Terrifying Truth About What Technology is Doing to Children by Cris A. Rowan . (See the left column to order this book.)
We have gone down the wrong path. Technology as a learning mechanism is just plain wrong. I know, I know. How could alll these educators be wrong? We don’t know until we know. Now we are seeing the results, number 1 through 10, above.
Protect your child. Take away the handheld devices; seriously limit ALL screens - TV’s, movies, games, iPads, tablets and all!
Why? The American Academy of Pediatrics and the Canadian Society of Pediatrics say:
Because use of screen technology (TV, cell phones, electronic games, internet, iPads, tablets, computers) is associated with:
- stunted, delayed, impaired, and decreased brain growth.
- developmental delays, poorer literacy, poorer learning and poorer academic achievement;
- obesity and diabetes;
- poor sleep;
- poorer grades;
- mental illnesses, including depression, anxiety, attachment disorder, attention deficit disorder, autism, bipolar disorder, psychosis, behavioral problems and aggression;
- decreased concentration and memory, due to the brain not developing neuronal tracks to the frontal cortex;
- addictions;
- radiation illnesses, including cancer. Children are more sensitive than adults because their brains and immune systems are still developing;
- lack of a good future.
Pediatricians report seeing patients age 3 to 6 years old who have become addicted to their devices and do not sleep more than 4 hours a night, and cannot cope with the device being taken away.
High frequency gamma brainwaves are associated with perception and higher brain activity, and are present when a child is telling a story, listening to a story, drawing or playing imaginatively with other children.
Research shows this brain activity flatlines (is ABSENT) when children are on screens. This is serious, especially in a child whose brain should be rapidly developing at age 2... or 3... or 4... or 8 or 9…
Instead, the doctors are seeing the children because they do not sleep, have delayed speech and have persistent headaches, ADD, ADHD.
The terrifying truth is that technology is taking our children’s futures! Read: Virtual Child: The Terrifying Truth About What Technology is Doing to Children by Cris A. Rowan . (See the left column to order this book.)
We have gone down the wrong path. Technology as a learning mechanism is just plain wrong. I know, I know. How could alll these educators be wrong? We don’t know until we know. Now we are seeing the results, number 1 through 10, above.
Protect your child. Take away the handheld devices; seriously limit ALL screens - TV’s, movies, games, iPads, tablets and all!
