Our human nature - our ego - is confusing. You feel the emotions of anger, resentment, extreme emotions. It’s difficult to see or feel “past” those strong emotions.
Yet, those emotions are imprisoning you.
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” ~ Catherine Ponder
The next time you feel an extreme negative emotion toward someone, begin to think of forgiveness. Forgiveness in that there is “no more debt.” Forgiveness in that you move on, in freedom from those emotions.
Forgiveness does not have to say that the other person did nothing wrong. Forgiveness has to say that you are free, that there is no further debt holding the two of you together.
Hold it gently, mull it over and move into the light.
Without failure, there is less strength. In your struggles comes your strength.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” ~ Winston Churchill
“Courage isn’t having the strength to go on – it is going on when you don’t have strength.” ~ Napoléon Bonaparte
You may not realize it when you are being strengthened, because the adversities, troubles, obstacles are taking your focus. But, that’s what is happening. You are getting stronger.
“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” ~ Dale Carnegie
For today, for this week, keep on keeping on. Just when you thought you were lost, you are actually on the path to greatness.
Walking with you,
In a 1956 song written for the Broadway musical, Most Happy Fella, Dean Martin sang,
“…Haven't got a girl but I can dream
"Haven't got a girl but I can wish
"So I'll take me down to Main street
"And that's where I select my imaginary dish
"Standing on a corner watching all the girls go by…”
Are you watching life go by? Wishing?
If you want - and of course you do - for your life to be INCREDIBLE...
Don’t sit on the couch and wish and wait.
Go out. Make changes. Smile a lot. Be excited.
Be courageous. Do new things. Do things that challenge you.
Get around people who challenge you and help you grow. Don’t gossip. Show and feel a LOT of gratitude.
Make gratitude your constant companion.
Psychologists have tried to connect the dots.
Childhood, Your parents, Your past relationships…
We think, “I’m too old; I’m too young.
"I didn’t go far enough in school; I have college degrees that don’t help.
"I’m too skinny; I’m too fat.
"I grew up without opportunities; The economy went bad; The climate is wrong for me…”
When actually, you are making every decision, every choice, every perspective you have.
What you make of your life is a result of the choices you make.
This is great news! It’s you! - and you can choose from an amazing array of choices at every turn.
Choose well. Start now. Love every minute.
Isn’t it amazing how hard we are on ourselves?
We judge, and assume others judge us the same way as we do ourself.
And yet, most times people don’t notice - UNLESS they are busy judging themself and using you as a measure, for good or for bad.
Don’t worry if people don’t seem to like you. Most folks are merely struggling to like themselves. And there you are to utilize as a measure, a comparison.
You do the same thing. We all do.
Get to loving everyone around you - and the others will like you a lot…
And you’ll like yourself a lot!
Have you ever thought about how so often, you don't know what you can do until you actually do it?
And, you don’t know what you can be until you find you’ve become it?
When you think about it, it’s all about using your courage to start.
Because, you are so much more than you can know.
Saw a beautiful reminder of this that Deepak Chopra posted:
You - a bright shining star in this gorgeous Universe. Step out.
Go after whatever you want to be, to do, to have.
I love you and your light!
It has become popular to talk about your “bucket list,” presumably things you want to do or places you want to go before you die.
Let’s make a “bucket list” of virtues you might want to attain.
How about Patience? Patience so you don’t feel you have to hurry.
Peace, so you don’t have to worry.
Courage so you can handle fear.
Faith so you can trust that you are divinely guided.
Joy so life is the best it can be. No matter what, no matter what.
Compassion so you can love with all you’ve got.
Gratitude so you never want for anything.
They are all available to you as you practice thinking just those thoughts.
For your morning:
This is going to be a wonderful day. I can handle every challenge that comes my way. I feel good physically, mentally and emotionally. It is wonderful to be alive. I am grateful for all that I have had, all that I now have, and all that I shall have. This day is not going to fall apart, because God is with me, God is helping me, God is guiding me. I thank God for every good thing. (from Norman Vincent Peale)
Those virtues are a’comin’ your way!!
Who am I hanging with / spending time with?
What effect do they have on me?
What have they got me spending time, doing?
Where do they have me going?
What do they have me feeling, saying?
What do they have me thinking about?
What am I becoming?
Then ask yourself:
Is that ALL good? Is there ANY good in it?
DO WHAT THE TOP 5% OF ALL PEOPLE DO: FIND PEOPLE WHO HAVE YOU GROWING, BECOMING GREATER, HAPPIER, MORE SUCCESSFUL, WHO PROPEL YOU TOWARD YOUR DREAMS.
Avoid complainers, toxic people who are Energy Vampires and flatterers.
Look instead for positive, satisfied, people who challenge you, get you reading great stuff, doing great things, becoming greater.
Your beliefs, attitude and personal philosophies are greatly influenced by the people you spend time with.
Evaluate yourself and your associates. Avoid the ones who aren’t strengthening you. Find ones who do.
Do you ever think, "if only"?
If only I were in some other job, some other practice, some other relationship — THEN I would be happy.
If only I had what “he” has, what “they” have — sure, THEN I could be happy.
Well, that is all doubtful!
Get all the happiness out of where you are, what you are doing, your practice today, your friends and family.
(If those aren’t working for you, sure, study your goals, and set up a plan to work toward where you want to be, what you want in relationships and how to get there.)
BUT, in the meantime…
Get the happiness you can out of NOW and what’s happening NOW.
Sometimes we don’t realize our blessings until they aren’t there anymore.
The years, the changes plunder them and suddenly we look back and realize we could have been much happier.
Sometimes we don’t realize our blessings until they aren’t there anymore. The years go by, change occurs, and suddenly we look back and realize we could have been much happier.
Would you believe that there is nothing about your life today, not even the hurting that you won’t eventually appreciate and understand that it's good?
Don’t wait to be "happy until"…
Happiness begets happiness.
Go for it.
Happy thoughts bring happiness.
"Everybody in the world is seeking happiness - and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions." - Dale Carnegie
And actually, first and foremost, thoughts of acceptance, love, compassion and understanding for yourself.
“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.” ~ Steve Maraboli
Sending you love, compassion and understanding. Take it. Run with it.
Dr Chris Baker
Dr. Chris Baker is Past President of the American Orthodontic Society, a pediatric dentist and teacher of orthodontics, An author, dental practice consultant, mentor, and a current or former faculty member of three U.S. dental schools, Dr Chris practices and blogs in beautiful Abu Dhabi, UAE, and glorious Texas, USA.
Text and images
© 2019 Dr Chris Baker