Psychologists have tried to connect the dots.
Childhood, Your parents, Your past relationships…
We think, “I’m too old; I’m too young.
"I didn’t go far enough in school; I have college degrees that don’t help.
"I’m too skinny; I’m too fat.
"I grew up without opportunities; The economy went bad; The climate is wrong for me…”
When actually, you are making every decision, every choice, every perspective you have.
What you make of your life is a result of the choices you make.
This is great news! It’s you! - and you can choose from an amazing array of choices at every turn.
Choose well. Start now. Love every minute.
Isn’t it amazing how hard we are on ourselves?
We judge, and assume others judge us the same way as we do ourself.
And yet, most times people don’t notice - UNLESS they are busy judging themself and using you as a measure, for good or for bad.
Don’t worry if people don’t seem to like you. Most folks are merely struggling to like themselves. And there you are to utilize as a measure, a comparison.
You do the same thing. We all do.
Get to loving everyone around you - and the others will like you a lot…
And you’ll like yourself a lot!
Have you ever thought about how so often, you don't know what you can do until you actually do it?
And, you don’t know what you can be until you find you’ve become it?
When you think about it, it’s all about using your courage to start.
Because, you are so much more than you can know.
Saw a beautiful reminder of this that Deepak Chopra posted:
You - a bright shining star in this gorgeous Universe. Step out.
Go after whatever you want to be, to do, to have.
I love you and your light!
It has become popular to talk about your “bucket list,” presumably things you want to do or places you want to go before you die.
Let’s make a “bucket list” of virtues you might want to attain.
How about Patience? Patience so you don’t feel you have to hurry.
Peace, so you don’t have to worry.
Courage so you can handle fear.
Faith so you can trust that you are divinely guided.
Joy so life is the best it can be. No matter what, no matter what.
Compassion so you can love with all you’ve got.
Gratitude so you never want for anything.
They are all available to you as you practice thinking just those thoughts.
For your morning:
This is going to be a wonderful day. I can handle every challenge that comes my way. I feel good physically, mentally and emotionally. It is wonderful to be alive. I am grateful for all that I have had, all that I now have, and all that I shall have. This day is not going to fall apart, because God is with me, God is helping me, God is guiding me. I thank God for every good thing. (from Norman Vincent Peale)
Those virtues are a’comin’ your way!!
Who am I hanging with / spending time with?
What effect do they have on me?
What have they got me spending time, doing?
Where do they have me going?
What do they have me feeling, saying?
What do they have me thinking about?
What am I becoming?
Then ask yourself:
Is that ALL good? Is there ANY good in it?
DO WHAT THE TOP 5% OF ALL PEOPLE DO: FIND PEOPLE WHO HAVE YOU GROWING, BECOMING GREATER, HAPPIER, MORE SUCCESSFUL, WHO PROPEL YOU TOWARD YOUR DREAMS.
Avoid complainers, toxic people who are Energy Vampires and flatterers.
Look instead for positive, satisfied, people who challenge you, get you reading great stuff, doing great things, becoming greater.
Your beliefs, attitude and personal philosophies are greatly influenced by the people you spend time with.
Evaluate yourself and your associates. Avoid the ones who aren’t strengthening you. Find ones who do.
Do you ever think, "if only"?
If only I were in some other job, some other practice, some other relationship — THEN I would be happy.
If only I had what “he” has, what “they” have — sure, THEN I could be happy.
Well, that is all doubtful!
Get all the happiness out of where you are, what you are doing, your practice today, your friends and family.
(If those aren’t working for you, sure, study your goals, and set up a plan to work toward where you want to be, what you want in relationships and how to get there.)
BUT, in the meantime…
Get the happiness you can out of NOW and what’s happening NOW.
Sometimes we don’t realize our blessings until they aren’t there anymore.
The years, the changes plunder them and suddenly we look back and realize we could have been much happier.
Sometimes we don’t realize our blessings until they aren’t there anymore. The years go by, change occurs, and suddenly we look back and realize we could have been much happier.
Would you believe that there is nothing about your life today, not even the hurting that you won’t eventually appreciate and understand that it's good?
Don’t wait to be "happy until"…
Happiness begets happiness.
Go for it.
Happy thoughts bring happiness.
"Everybody in the world is seeking happiness - and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions." - Dale Carnegie
And actually, first and foremost, thoughts of acceptance, love, compassion and understanding for yourself.
“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.” ~ Steve Maraboli
Sending you love, compassion and understanding. Take it. Run with it.
There are so many reasons we worry and get fearful. The economy is bad; My office is slow; The insurance companies are worse than ever; The company laid some people off; My portfolio is way down; Am I ill?; Terrorism…
Can you imagine life without worries and fear? Without angst?
Think about your life instead, with peace.
How to get there?
Here are some ideas:
1. First and foremost, don’t look at ANY news. Unless you can do something about it, it’s only going to increase your angst.
“Feed your fears and your faith will starve; feed your faith and your fears will.” ~ Max Lucado
2. React differently. Think differently. Change your worry to trust.
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” ~ Epictetus
Remember that life is full of uncertainty - we can't know the future and never will. The quality of your life is defined by the amount of uncertainty you can accept and live with.
"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." - Khalil Gibran
3. Remember to think of FEAR as False Evidence Appearing Real.
4. Listen to uplifting and positive folks, and avoid the negative.
“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” ~ The Dalai Lama
5. Get busy doing for others. Get busy loving each and every one you come in contact with. Get busy doing the work you came here to do - loving.
Loving you, sending peace.
We humans are given a strong and constant urge to want “more.” More stuff, more learning, more money, more food, more vacations, more…
At its best, more opportunities.
Yes! If you are growing and learning, and motivated toward moving higher, you may be wondering how to find the great opportunities.
Here are some ideas. The opportunities are hiding in:
1. Your attitude/philosophy
"A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our worlds; it seems to magically connect us to all sorts of serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change." ~ Earl Nightingale
2. Your willingness to act, to work, to grow, to learn, to do.
“What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.” ~ Ralph Marston
3. Your love and kindness.
“A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, & the roots spring up & make new trees.” ~ Amelia Earhart
4. Your faith & trust.
“Believe. No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.” ~ Helen Keller
Today, plant your garden of opportunity. You’ll reap the magic at harvest season!
To the greatest!
Every day we have lots of opportunities to feel stressed, to get angry or upset.
You will be challenged by the illusions. Your amygdala (that walnut-sized organ in your brain where your ego resides) will try to figure out what these mean about you, and to make you feel less than.
Fight that. Go within.
Don’t give something outside of yourself power over you and your joy.
Choose not to let things upset you.
“The more rules you have about how people should be, how life should be for you to be happy, the less happy you’re going to be.” ~ Tony Robbins
Remember there's magic.
You're alive for joy, for sunny days, for greater things.
Live in the light today.
Dr Chris Baker
Dr. Chris Baker is Past President of the American Orthodontic Society, a pediatric dentist and teacher of orthodontics, An author, dental practice consultant, mentor, and a current or former faculty member of three U.S. dental schools, Dr Chris practices and blogs in beautiful Abu Dhabi, UAE, and glorious Texas, USA.
Text and images
© 2019 Dr Chris Baker